Burn It, Fry It, Kill It: Why I Chose to Heal Instead

Reflection written not just in gratitude, but in transformation

“Burn it. Fry it. Kill it. Cut it. Destroy the enemy.”

That’s what I’m told.

But unfortunately, the battleground... is my body.
And while I’m not exactly thrilled about having cancer,
I do need this body for the rest of my life.

Something about this scorched earth approach —
this tactical nuclear option disguised as medicine —
feels like the worst kind of brinksmanship I can imagine.
Destroy the enemy at all costs?
Not when I’m the terrain you’re bombing.

So here’s my approach instead:

Heal it.
Understand it.
Nurture it.
Respect it.
Honour it.
Learn how to support it.

I want to understand what factors contributed to this battle.
To take accountability for the things I didn’t know,
and to learn what needs to change going forward.

You’ve helped me find a genuine passion for science.
For reading case studies, exploring integrative approaches,
and pulling meaning from data and experience — not just protocols.

I’ve learned to appreciate the value of AI tools that help me pull diagnostics together and apply them to my own unique case.

You’ve made me feel like I can trust myself again.

I’ve realised something important:

The problem-solver in me, the driver in me — that’s what’s going to save my life.

And I’m learning to have faith that I can overcome the emotional weight
I thought I let go of years ago.
Because healing isn’t linear.
Letting go isn’t a checkbox.
Some days it’s a rollercoaster.
Other days, it’s a merry-go-round.
(Still workshopping the metaphor.)

But here’s what I do know:

I’m proud of what I’m learning.
I’m excited about what’s opening up.
My body has changed.
My mind has changed.
My spirit is catching up.

I’m more centred now than I’ve ever been.
I’m sleeping — really sleeping — seven hours a night.

For the first time in years,
I’m giving my body the time it needs — nightly — to repair itself.
No wonder my system was so stressed before.
It never had a chance to recover.
I was always running on fumes and calling it productivity.
Now? I’m calling it what it really is: healing.

I’m learning how to nourish myself —
not just feed myself.
How to care for my body — not just manage it.

I don’t know exactly what my cancer is doing.
But I do know:

The storm inside has quieted.

And that matters.

I didn’t get all this toxicity in my body overnight.
So I know the healing won’t happen overnight either.
But I am taking cancer for what it truly is:
a wake-up call,
an invitation,
an opportunity.

A chance to change what needed to be addressed —
so I can age well.
So I can live in alignment.
So I can feel whole.

That, to me, is a gift.

And I’m so grateful to have found you —
a healer who sees the whole of me.
Who draws from naturopathy, functional medicine, Chinese medicine, Ayurvedic practices, psychology —
and delivers it all with compassion and presence.

You’re not just helping me win a few battles.
You’re teaching me how to make sure I never go to war again.